Reality and thoughts
Life is what it is and how we adopt it in our day to day life is the challenge to every human being. Money is not everything. In my opinion, the happiness quotient is definitely not related to accumulation of more and/or mere money, though sufficient money is necessary to avoid troubles and tensions. Then, what is sufficient money, depends on how one adopts himself/herself with the ongoing life, irrespective of his/her owning assets. Hence, we have to earn money otherwise the poor become worried and unhappy and the rich may become lazy and arrogant. But, again money is not everything in life.
I am not from a well-to-do family. I never knew hotels were there to provide food/snacks/coffee at a price until I joined PU College. I never used to visit cinema theatres. I didn’t have a bicycle either. I was not a bright student and so I took up commerce and completed bachelors in commerce. Immediately on my completion of graduation, I got the clerical post in a financial institution in the year 1977 (through paper advertisement; a number of banks recruited during 1976 to 1980) and I was posted to a distant town in Karnataka, away from Mysore. My savings was nil/minimal as my salary was very low. I was staying in an area which was full of brahmin families (both madhwa and smartha living for centuries). During my three years’ stay in that small town, I came across many brahmin families which were very poor and struggling to provide education even in government schools as they were unable to meet extra expenses.
In the light of the above, many youngsters took up Veda paata and became priests, many discontinued studies after 10th and joined factories, etc, etc. I couldn’t bear the struggle taken by parents in mobilising funds for the marriage of their daughters. The period of my stay in that small town had a permanent effect on me and my mindset. I transformed myself to be a simple man and see happiness with what I have and with what I legitimately earn. I also had thought that I cannot expect my wife or children to be like me and I should never insist on “that simplicity” in my home. But, my mind always said that I sincerely should follow. Hence, I took a decision to lead a simple (and normal, i.e., without being noticed by the public) life by myself irrespective of growth in my assets. In 1982 I got promoted to officer cadre and my financial position improved.
When my friend's family arranged for a meeting with the prospective bride’s family in late 1983, I saw one (first) girl and said yes and got married to her. But, I had a difficult situation with my parents as well as prospective parents-in-law in convincing them to go for the simplest marriage.
This is how I convinced them…
- All rituals (shastras) to be followed.
- Shastras never say that marriage should be in Choultry, so the temple was fixed.
- Shastras don’t say to print invitations, so printing invitations were cancelled. Inland letters were written to relatives.
- Shastras are not aware of reception, so cancel it.
- Shastras never demand any photographer to be called, so no photos.
- Only one purohit for both sides.
- All rituals must be followed, hence followed.
- Invitation limited to only close relatives/dearest ones.
I took Earned Leave and I just travelled to Mysore from Mumbai without informing my colleagues in the office too. Somehow, my marriage went through in 20 hours (6 pm to 2 pm next day) in February 1984 at Vyasaraja Matha Temple, Tirumakudalu, T Narasipur, Karnataka. Around 40 persons were there, all near and dear ones including a few intimate friends. Some were happy, some were not, but no regrets.
Now I have sufficient money/assets and I don’t have to ask anyone for anything. I need love and affection from members of my family and I am abundantly getting it. I have been following a simple way of living until now. I will be continuing to do so in future too.
I don't say I tried to set an example. I should say my desired wish was fulfilled. Now more than 35 years have passed after my marriage and definitely I am happy. I have no regrets, my mind doesn’t get disturbed if my neighbour buys a car or my friend buys a home or gets a promotion, goes for a Europe tour, etc, etc...
Let the above narration inspire some youngsters. Good luck.
end- ನಡೆದದ್ದು thoughts documented sometime ಇನ್ 2018
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