reduce marriage expenses

Reality and thoughts

This write-up is for poor/middle-class families.  

Money is so important in our life, everybody lives, strives for earning enough money.  Marriage is one area where our hard earned money is spent away in less than 2 days.  Yet, even after spending so much money, so many people are not happy.  That is to say,  some will be unhappy over one issue or the other. Some make the person who has spent so much money an unhappy person, even after spending a high amount of money in a marriage ceremony.  

Under this context, why can't we reduce the expenses and be a model to others?  It is definitely possible to reduce the expenses of marriage drastically if following initiative is undertaken:

1. Take the groom and bride into confidence and discuss in length for reduction in marriage expenses. 
2. Don't listen to any suggestion of relatives who advocate an increase in expenses.
3. Conduct marriage away from the bride's or groom's place of residences.  Conducting in a temple or a small town is even better.
4. Fix a small marriage hall which accommodates about 60 chairs in the main hall.
5. Fix the marriage hall for only 24 hours or 36 hours.
6. Print less than 50 invitation cards on bride's side and 50 cards on groom's side.
7. Limit invitees only to direct relatives.
8. Limit invitation only to very very close friends.
9. Buy only limited clothes for your family.
10. Don't accept gifts.
11. No giving gifts to anyone.
12. No catering on contract basis.  May have to work harder.  Yet it will give high results. Bring items by yourself. Give only a labour contract for cooking.
13. No reception. And to those who question, please remind that the concept of reception is not there as per shastra.
14. Adhere to all shastras prescribed in our tradition, including 'tamboola' to the guests.
15. Limit professional videography time, say, to capture only the important shastra moments.  After editing, let the video time be say, 30 minutes.
16. Limit professional photography, say, to 100 captures.
17. Less guests, more joy.
18. Discuss, think and execute the best way to reduce expenses wherever possible.
19. To all those who have money and capable of spending the money:- Keep aside all the saved expenses and utilise the money for any better cause.
20. Set an example in society. 

Finally one needs to be strict and confident.  There are so many families needing bare necessities, please help them by keeping aside the money to be spent for any social function, or invest in creating an asset on behalf of a newly married couple and help them.  

By taking the measures as suggested above, I know it is very difficult to face the members of the family/society, yet, it is possible.    Do we need to waste  the money by spending for marriage, or rather, any social function?  Think again before deciding to spend.  We need to restrict invitation in respect of all religious functions limited to the members of the family only.

And it is needless to mention here that we need to take harsh decisions and take some blame some persons. Anyway, some people are sure to blame on some matters even when a high amount of money is spent.

Good luck to all those who want to bring change in systems.

end- thoughts documented sometime ಇನ್ 2018

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जब शादी की तारीख फिक्स हो जाती है तो लड़की का बाप लड़के के बाप से पूछता है कितनी बारात लाओगे?

लड़के का बाप कहता है तीन सौ।

लड़की का बाप बोलता है इतनी बारात बहुत ज्यादा हो जाएगी, दो सौ बारात ले आना।

लड़के का बाप कहता है दो सौ बारात में हमें नहीं होगी हमारी इज्जत चली जाएगी। गांव में हर घर से कम से कम एक आदमी तो पूछना ही पड़ेगा तो सिर्फ गांव के दो सौ लोग हो जाएंगे फिर हमारे रिश्तेदार और घर की औरतें हो जाएंगी, जिसे नहीं पूछेंगे वही बुरा मान जाएगा इसलिए कम से कम तीन सौ लोग आएंगे। हम तो आपके हालात देखकर तीन सौ बाराती ला रहे हैं वरना हमारा परिवार इतना बड़ा है कि और इतने नाते रिश्तेदार हैं कि हमें चार सौ बाराती से ज्यादा लाना चाहिए।

कुछ दिनों बाद जब उसी लड़के वालों के घर में कोई बीमार हो जाता है तो पूरे गांव में कोई एक यूनिट खून देने वाला नहीं मिलता। सोशल मीडिया में अपील करना पड़ता है। अगर किसी से झगड़ा हो जाता है तो पूरे गांव में दो लोग ऐसे नहीं मिलते जो कोर्ट में चलकर ज़मानत ले लें।

मेरा मानना है कि बारात में सिर्फ उन्हें ही लेकर जाना चाहिए जो

एक यूनिट ब्लड दे सकें और जो कोर्ट में खड़े होकर तुम्हारी जमानत ले सकें। 

बस यही तुम्हारे हैं बाकी सब गैर हैं।

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