Don't be mad at cricket
The game loved by one and all
but not liked by me at all;
I dislike watching
as it's time consuming.
There are two teams
each comprising eleven;
yet, the eleventh man
is not allowed to bat
when the tenth batsman
is bowled out.
Though some bowlers claim 10 wickets
there are only six wickets
seen on the field,
three intact
kept at a fixed distance
to allow the two batsmen
not to run helter-skelter,
but to run
in between the wickets
to keep their wickets intact.
You may encourage
one side
and sideline the other
and watch the wickets falling
or runs scoring
but only after buying
valid tickets.
Enter the field,
two black bulls
with two captains
who, wearing caps
with too many feathers
in their caps
and behaving in different ways
so as to find a winning way.
One tosses a rupee coin
after confirming
it's not a 'Sholay' coin;
the winner decides
either to bat or bowl
as he has a predetermined goal
while the other
always wishes the winner's goal
to bat or bowl
should turnout to be a futility
so that his side
has a winning guarantee.
The said black bulls
so called Umpires,
stand never together
but one near the bowler's wicket,
the other at a distance
from the batsman's wicket,
to ensure
the Master Blaster
does not blast him off the field
else his wound may not heal
to be back on the field.
The two Umpires
having their own empire,
cannot afford hand in glove
though players are allowed
to wear hand gloves;
they do not speak
nor react
but act only on signs
as these are mandatory, to sign
umpiring contract and to shine.
One Umpire
who can punish the stone throwers
by calling off the match,
keeps six stones in one hand
and changes each stone to the other hand
at frequent intervals
is called the Straight Umpire,
though he never stands straight
but bends many times
to ensure so many correct decisions
including the one where the bowler,
who while bowling
sometimes by thinking
the actress 'Rekha'
crosses 'Laxman Rekha'.
The other Umpire
standing at square leg
is called the Leg Umpire
who never watches the legs
which are watched by
only the Straight Umpire,
but watches only the wickets
which are seen in a straight line
by the Leg Umpire
while the bowler
bowls the ball.
Understanding cricket terminology
is tougher than Biology
or Zoology or Physiology;
Mid wicket, Short leg,
Gully, Backward short leg,
Mid on, Long on, Point,
I am sure,
can not be pointed out on the field
by most of the viewers
who like to listen to the radio
when they are off the stadium,
the commentary by the ex-players
who are sent off the game
and have found a better place
off the field, to comment
anything and everything,
running on the field
including pointing out some points
on the Australian player Ponting
or the player standing at point.
The fielder standing at gully
if by chance
misses the crucial catch,
is sure to receive a 'Gaali'
and is sent to mid off
or long off
or even off the match some times
which happens many times.
When bowler starts his bowling,
then public starts howling
to show their support
in favour of batsman's team
or bowler's team
depending upon
having taken a side,
the other side being sided away.
Balls are bowled and bowled
until the Sun gets angry
and says sorry
and showers light rays
which is the best way
to force the referee to foresee
and to say 'Bad Light'.
The run chart
on the black board,
begins at zero run
to add runs and runs and runs
until someone
becomes a hero
to be termed
Man of the Match
and win the company
of a matchless heroine
at least in an ad show
if not in real show
which may some time click
on account of frequent clicking
by the cameraman,
especially
when the matchless
heroine had failed
to find a suitable match
other than the
Man of the Match.
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